The Station Master’s House Christmas poems

Thank you to everyone who entered for Xmas 2021, we received some excellent poems which you can see below,

Merry Xmas!

When Santa got stuck up the chimney

by Carol Wright


When Santa got stuck in the chimney, he couldn’t believe his bad luck

He had time to spare as he flew through the air, so decided to take back his book.

He landed his sleigh on the roof of the Hub, his copy of Dickens he grasped

Told Rudolph to wait as he wouldn’t be late and into the chimney he passed.

The chimney was narrow and Santa was plump, so it wasn’t the greatest surprise

That he was firmly stuck, still clutching his book, after eating too many mince pies.

Alas and alack, he couldn’t get back, could get neither upwards nor down

‘Oh what shall I do, now my book’s overdue’ he cried with a sigh and a frown.

‘Can volunteers hear me. Is anyone about?

I’m stuck in the chimney, please help me get out.’

Meanwhile at Birkdale Community Hub, volunteers gathered around

Santa is stuck in the chimney, a solution must be found.

Up on the roof clambered Andy and Tim to offer a word of advice

‘Breathe in dear Santa, just think yourself thin, we’ll have you out in a trice.’’

They each grasped a foot, tugged with all of their might

To help dear old Santa back into the night.

Volunteers shouted ‘Just give it some clout’

And then like a rocket Santa shot out.

Santa was pleased to get back on his sleigh, he had so much to do before break of the day

Off you go Santa up and away, to deliver the toys so children can play.

Folk from the Hub breathed a sigh of relief

‘Before we go home should we have a debrief?’

‘He’s not left his book, so will be liable for fines

What’s the name of his book?

Oh dear, Hard Times!

As Santa flew off volunteers did implore

Next time you visit please use the door!

When Santa got stuck up the chimney

by Denise Jones


When Santa got stuck up the chimney, it wasn’t a massive surprise

Shaped a bit like a Barrel, having eaten all the Lathams mince pies

He’d come straight from his Allotment, via Bombay as you do

Stopping off at the Costa, to pick up a present or two


When not on duty at the North Pole, Birkdale village is his home

If you don’t know what he looks like by day, he resembles a garden gnome

His belly expands by the minute, he thinks Crozier’s cakes are divine

‘You need to lose weight’ Mrs. Claus yelled, or you won’t deliver Christmas on time


So off he went to Base 51, to throw a few moves or two

But with so many svelte Busy Body’s, he was puffed just stood in the queue

Graham’s Eyes were on him, who was this round man dressed in red?

Making the Headlines having escaped outside, Santa slipped, hitting his head


Seeing a Rainbow when he woke up, he wasn’t Sitting Pretty at all

What the Blazes happened there he thought, he didn’t know, couldn’t recall

With eyes all blurry, couldn’t see a thing, he needed to go for a test

‘I’ll go to Andrew Willetts’ he said, they’re most certainly the absolute best


But going about was a Rumah that he’d gotten lost up the Junction

Having gone through this recent nightmare, he’d digressed from his primary function

So he stocked up for Mother and Child, with Cards and Gifts, Paint and Paper too

Jeweller’s Bench next and Antiques, lots of presents for me and you


He’d been following the ongoing debacle, of the Sefton Christmas tree

‘So small, it’s near impossible,’ he yelled ‘For anyone to see’

But No.4 and the Rose Tearooms have done the village proud

By putting up tall, twinkling trees that have really pleased the crowd


So Happy Hallidays or Happy Christmas, whichever you say or prefer

But remember it’s not all about spending lots of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh

It’s seeing the happy children’s faces when they know that Santa has been

And seeing Santa get stuck up the chimney, was it real or was it a dream?

The Party

by Linda Seal

Down Rudolph Lane

At a house numbered eight

There was such a commotion

As Santa was late


He had put on some weight

Since this time last year

Lots of ENORMOUS breakfasts

And the odd pint of beer


Midway down the chimney

Things had not felt right

He pushed and he shoved

Then oh dear was stuck tight


Meanwhile all had gathered

From far and from near

All watching and waiting

For boots to appear


There was Mary and Joseph

Shepherds and Kings

A donkey, a sheep

And an Angel with wings


Elmer, A Grinch

A Witch on a broom

A very hairy MacLary

All in the same room


A big friendly giant

A cat in a hat

And a very hungry caterpillar

Who was growing quite fat?


“I’M STUCK” Santa sobbed

As he shed a huge tear

When old gangsta granny said

“Don’t you fret Dear”


“We’ll have you out very soon

Just you wait and see”

Growled an orange striped tiger

Who had joined them for tea


“Give him a marmalade sandwich”

Whispered a bear from Peru

When out of the shadows

Stepped a girl dressed in blue


The Snowman said “quiet please”

To the young girl he beckoned

The Gruffalo pointed

“She’ll have him out in a second”


Alice climbed up the chimney

Handed Santa a drink

It then worked its magic

For he started to shrink


All eyes on the fireplace

First some soot fell

Followed by a small Santa



Down Rudolph Lane

At the house numbered eight

All opened their presents

And partied ‘til late

Christmas Poem

by Sandra Waters


Size 9s I should think

Said a man at his sink

Watching Santa begin his descent.

Oh well, said his cat, who was sat on the mat,

He’s a bit of a chunky old gent!


And indeed down he went

In a stylish descent

Til only his toes could be seen.

Then after a shuffle

And a bit of kerfuffle

They too disappeared from the scene.

“I say, old chap, I’m in a bit of a flap”

Came an echoey shout from the grate.

“I seem to be stuck, I’m quite out of luck

And I’m already running quite late.”


So the man at the sink had a very quick think

Then grabbed his trusty old mop

Like a thief in the night he looked quite a sight

As he scaled the walls to the top.


“I’ll give you a shove,” he said from above

And he lent on his mop with such force

That Santa came free, landed under the tree

Right next to the mince pies of course.


“Goodness me” Santa said as he rubbed his head

“I really am getting quite fat

But these pies look a treat, and I do need to eat”

And he gave his tummy a pat.


Having left the toys for the good girls and boys

He knew that he couldn’t depart

He found the mop man (who’s real name was Stan)

And thanked him with all of his heart


“Oh thank you Stan you’re such a kind man

Why not come for a ride in my sleigh?”

And so into the sky to the stars up high

Stan and Santa went up and away.


And as for the cat, he’s still on the mat…

When Santa got stuck up the chimney

by Kay Sutton



When Santa got stuck up the chimney, he began to panic.

“‘I’ve lost my mask, behind with my task, the situation’s manic!

I’ve travelled so far – need a PCR

My jab is overdue!

I think I’ll just quietly hide here til 2022!”