The Station Master’s House Christmas poems
Thank you to everyone who entered for Xmas 2021, we received some excellent poems which you can see below,
Merry Xmas!
When Santa got stuck up the chimney
by Carol Wright
When Santa got stuck in the chimney, he couldn’t believe his bad luck
He had time to spare as he flew through the air, so decided to take back his book.
He landed his sleigh on the roof of the Hub, his copy of Dickens he grasped
Told Rudolph to wait as he wouldn’t be late and into the chimney he passed.
The chimney was narrow and Santa was plump, so it wasn’t the greatest surprise
That he was firmly stuck, still clutching his book, after eating too many mince pies.
Alas and alack, he couldn’t get back, could get neither upwards nor down
‘Oh what shall I do, now my book’s overdue’ he cried with a sigh and a frown.
‘Can volunteers hear me. Is anyone about?
I’m stuck in the chimney, please help me get out.’
Meanwhile at Birkdale Community Hub, volunteers gathered around
Santa is stuck in the chimney, a solution must be found.
Up on the roof clambered Andy and Tim to offer a word of advice
‘Breathe in dear Santa, just think yourself thin, we’ll have you out in a trice.’’
They each grasped a foot, tugged with all of their might
To help dear old Santa back into the night.
Volunteers shouted ‘Just give it some clout’
And then like a rocket Santa shot out.
Santa was pleased to get back on his sleigh, he had so much to do before break of the day
Off you go Santa up and away, to deliver the toys so children can play.
Folk from the Hub breathed a sigh of relief
‘Before we go home should we have a debrief?’
‘He’s not left his book, so will be liable for fines
What’s the name of his book?
Oh dear, Hard Times!
As Santa flew off volunteers did implore
Next time you visit please use the door!
When Santa got stuck up the chimney
by Denise Jones
When Santa got stuck up the chimney, it wasn’t a massive surprise
Shaped a bit like a Barrel, having eaten all the Lathams mince pies
He’d come straight from his Allotment, via Bombay as you do
Stopping off at the Costa, to pick up a present or two
When not on duty at the North Pole, Birkdale village is his home
If you don’t know what he looks like by day, he resembles a garden gnome
His belly expands by the minute, he thinks Crozier’s cakes are divine
‘You need to lose weight’ Mrs. Claus yelled, or you won’t deliver Christmas on time
So off he went to Base 51, to throw a few moves or two
But with so many svelte Busy Body’s, he was puffed just stood in the queue
Graham’s Eyes were on him, who was this round man dressed in red?
Making the Headlines having escaped outside, Santa slipped, hitting his head
Seeing a Rainbow when he woke up, he wasn’t Sitting Pretty at all
What the Blazes happened there he thought, he didn’t know, couldn’t recall
With eyes all blurry, couldn’t see a thing, he needed to go for a test
‘I’ll go to Andrew Willetts’ he said, they’re most certainly the absolute best
But going about was a Rumah that he’d gotten lost up the Junction
Having gone through this recent nightmare, he’d digressed from his primary function
So he stocked up for Mother and Child, with Cards and Gifts, Paint and Paper too
Jeweller’s Bench next and Antiques, lots of presents for me and you
He’d been following the ongoing debacle, of the Sefton Christmas tree
‘So small, it’s near impossible,’ he yelled ‘For anyone to see’
But No.4 and the Rose Tearooms have done the village proud
By putting up tall, twinkling trees that have really pleased the crowd
So Happy Hallidays or Happy Christmas, whichever you say or prefer
But remember it’s not all about spending lots of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh
It’s seeing the happy children’s faces when they know that Santa has been
And seeing Santa get stuck up the chimney, was it real or was it a dream?
The Party
by Linda Seal
Down Rudolph Lane
At a house numbered eight
There was such a commotion
As Santa was late
He had put on some weight
Since this time last year
Lots of ENORMOUS breakfasts
And the odd pint of beer
Midway down the chimney
Things had not felt right
He pushed and he shoved
Then oh dear was stuck tight
Meanwhile all had gathered
From far and from near
All watching and waiting
For boots to appear
There was Mary and Joseph
Shepherds and Kings
A donkey, a sheep
And an Angel with wings
Elmer, A Grinch
A Witch on a broom
A very hairy MacLary
All in the same room
A big friendly giant
A cat in a hat
And a very hungry caterpillar
Who was growing quite fat?
“I’M STUCK” Santa sobbed
As he shed a huge tear
When old gangsta granny said
“Don’t you fret Dear”
“We’ll have you out very soon
Just you wait and see”
Growled an orange striped tiger
Who had joined them for tea
“Give him a marmalade sandwich”
Whispered a bear from Peru
When out of the shadows
Stepped a girl dressed in blue
The Snowman said “quiet please”
To the young girl he beckoned
The Gruffalo pointed
“She’ll have him out in a second”
Alice climbed up the chimney
Handed Santa a drink
It then worked its magic
For he started to shrink
All eyes on the fireplace
First some soot fell
Followed by a small Santa
With a VERY LARGE YELL!
Down Rudolph Lane
At the house numbered eight
All opened their presents
And partied ‘til late
Christmas Poem
by Sandra Waters
Size 9s I should think
Said a man at his sink
Watching Santa begin his descent.
Oh well, said his cat, who was sat on the mat,
He’s a bit of a chunky old gent!
And indeed down he went
In a stylish descent
Til only his toes could be seen.
Then after a shuffle
And a bit of kerfuffle
They too disappeared from the scene.
“I say, old chap, I’m in a bit of a flap”
Came an echoey shout from the grate.
“I seem to be stuck, I’m quite out of luck
And I’m already running quite late.”
So the man at the sink had a very quick think
Then grabbed his trusty old mop
Like a thief in the night he looked quite a sight
As he scaled the walls to the top.
“I’ll give you a shove,” he said from above
And he lent on his mop with such force
That Santa came free, landed under the tree
Right next to the mince pies of course.
“Goodness me” Santa said as he rubbed his head
“I really am getting quite fat
But these pies look a treat, and I do need to eat”
And he gave his tummy a pat.
Having left the toys for the good girls and boys
He knew that he couldn’t depart
He found the mop man (who’s real name was Stan)
And thanked him with all of his heart
“Oh thank you Stan you’re such a kind man
Why not come for a ride in my sleigh?”
And so into the sky to the stars up high
Stan and Santa went up and away.
And as for the cat, he’s still on the mat…
When Santa got stuck up the chimney
by Kay Sutton
When Santa got stuck up the chimney, he began to panic.
“‘I’ve lost my mask, behind with my task, the situation’s manic!
I’ve travelled so far – need a PCR
My jab is overdue!
I think I’ll just quietly hide here til 2022!”